I have decided to stop watching The Biggest Loser. Even though I really enjoy seeing the happiness of personal success on the show, I have realized it is doing me more harm than good.
Last night I watched the premiere and Bob asked a question about the challenge, which was to run 1 mile. "I mean, shouldn't we all be able to run a mile?"
In answer to your question, Bob, no. Even when I was a 'healthy' weight and hiking every day I couldn't run a mile. I was not born that way. My body is not made to do things like jogging/running. I'm great at walking. I could walk all day. People have been floored by some of the 'walks' I have decided to take, like a walk to Central Valley when Mike worked there, from where we lived on Pinewood Dr. When it comes to running though I'm no good. I couldn't even run once around the track without stopping in high school, for goodness sakes! Our bodies are made differently. My breathing becomes labored and I have to be totally focused on it to regulate it and sometimes that doesn't even work.
Also, I found myself comparing myself to possible contestants on the show. Comparing ourselves is a very unhealthy behavior that has become acceptable, and even expected, in our society. "Wow, Imagine how she would look if she lost 100lbs, that's where I'm at now, so I'm ok." Or, "Oh my gosh, she only weighs like 40lbs more than me...maybe I really am in trouble!" We all know that we are different and carry our weight differently, etc, etc, etc! Yet, we still are always comparing and either being prideful over something we shouldn't, or thinking we're just not good enough, and never will be.
I found myself last night replying to an enquiring text that, yes, I would like something from McDonald's. A double cheeseburger meal, to be exact, with a shake for drink. *Sidenote* Jim Gaffigan: I'll get a burger and fries and to drink, I'll have the large cup of melted ice cream. ...
heh heh, I think the funniest jokes are those that are really, so true. It's good to laugh at oneself, no? *Back to subject* I wasn't actually hungry, and I knew that on some level, I really did not want anything from McDonalds, but I got it anyway. I realized later that because of the feelings of inadequacy I was having as a result of watching Biggest Loser, doubting myself, my decisions; that is why I ate McDonalds; to rebel.
I guess I can be somewhat of a rebel sometimes. It's like I'm saying, I don't have to be 'thin' to be good and loved, and I'll prove it to you! Which is fine for a phase, but a behavior that should not last forever. (eating just because).(If you remember I had to give myself the freedom to actually choose if I want to eat a thing or not, to break the obsession.) By choosing to watch/listen/read things that make me doubt myself prolongs this self-doubt and self-loating that I'm working so hard to free myself of.
To give Bob the benefit of the doubt, he was asking a question, not making a statement. However, it is all too easy for us to assume that anything we can do someone else should be able to, and vice versa. We are individuals, people, all different, with different talents and different weaknesses. Let's accept that, reject the teachings of this world, and actually live happy lives.
I do 'believe' in science (for lack of a better word) but how often do new studies come out showing we were wrong about something we previously thought to be fact? Who says I am not at a healthy weight? All my tests show healthy results, and besides, sometimes perfectly 'healthy' people get the sickest. We just never know. Yes, take the miracles of science and use them wisely, but do not forget about faith. For me, right now, faith is to be able to eat what I want, even if it's bad for me, and be 'overweight' and yet for the first time in my life see beautiful in the mirror. Now I'm not saying to go all out and eat a ton of crap every day because I do believe in the long run there will be consequences but, by worrying about what we should or shouldn't eat we've made ourselves obsessed with food and therefore rebelling overeaters. If we could have always allowed ourselves to eat what we felt like and not think harsh thoughts about ourselves, a very many of us would not have 'weight problems'. Some of us would still be bigger or smaller than others, but that is normal!
This may not be true for everyone, and if you disagree, that's totally cool. I realize this is my opinion. But we must acknowledge that the problem of obesity in this nation is not *the* problem, but only a symptom. How far will we get if we only try to treat the symptom?
I watched the Judds on Oprah and as it turns out (I didn't know) Wynonna has a different father than Ashley. How it makes sense that she always seemed to be built differently. You can even have the same parents and be built totally differently, goodness! Let's love ourselves and stop trying to change us for what we feel like we should look like.
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